Mitchell Pucey

( Application. )

I think we ought to have a rule that parents should not be allowed to be visitors at our school. It's disruptive to our studies? My mother is bloody insane why the fucking hell is she coming to the school to speak? If we're going to have a hundred rules this year, at least one should be beneficial...

I counted at least seven seperate mentions of dresses and dates for the formal today. Anyone have anything else on their mind?

I was informed that I "have" to attend as it apparently is a big deal? Not that the person who did the informing is someone that I need to take seriously... I'd rather not make Ophelia mad by asking someone she doesn't want me to go with (and deal with a pissy sister all Holiday? Fuck that). Formal seems like a lot of work, will it even be worth it?

I'm bored, anyone feel like snogging entertaining me?

Warded to Ophelia Pucey

Aside from Jacq Warrington (the youngest) and Kirke's sister, is there anyone else you will be peeved at me for asking to this formal ball?

Are you still mad at me?

Better yet, why don't you pick my date (so long as she is fit and not dumb as a brick) and then if you still get mad, you really can't blame me.

Warded to Christina
I lost my journal, go figure. Had fun at the ball with you, however, so thank you for coming with me. It's nice to know that not every girl in this school is completely brainless.

Warded to Ophelia
Still mad at me?

Warded to Jacqui
Hi.

Public
Not like I care one whit about Quidditch, but whatever, at least my house didn't lose or some rubbish.

Looking forward to Hogsmeade, though.

Warded Private
The entire school is filled with a bunch of... idiots. Following blindly the masses. Pathetic.

If I read one more person going on and on publicly about how brilliant this ball is I'm going to hex them. Desperate cries for attention, much.

The only way in sodding hell I'm going to this bloody charade is if I'm going with Ja some easy thing who will spend most the night away from the ball with me alone.
End of ward

Why do girls think shrieking is ever a good way of showing excitement? I'd prefer it if my ears didn't bleed, thanks.

Warded to Ophelia Pucey

Did he do anything that I need to kill him for?

Hexed VERY STRONGLY for Matt's Eyes Only

If you so much as lay an unwanted finger on my sister or hurt her AT ALL, I will fucking kill you. Keep your dick in your trousers, your hands off, and treat her like a lady and not a bloody slag. My sister is not a slag, and does not need you trying to cop a feel or put the moves on her.

JASON BLETCHLEY YOU ARE A DEAD MAN.

Warded against Professors, Staff, and NON-Slytherin Student Authority
Headmaster Odgen is bloody brilliant, and you lot are absolute morons for not realising this. What do teenagers do best? REBEL. Thank you, Headmaster, for making it that much easier for blokes to get birds willing to snog them... All in the name of being rebellious and down with THE MAN.

I don't bloody well care, I've practically lived in detention all other years, why should this one be different

I'm putting wagers on how many Quidditch players get banned before the season even begins. Eventually, there's no one gonna be left to play this year 'cept for firsties who don't know how to bloody fly. In for some entertainin' times, I tell ya.

Also? Incessant giggling is never a turn on, you birds ought to thank him for making it against a rule just so you don't make fools of yourselves. In fact, incessant talking is not a turn on either. Guys really don't give a damn what you have to say, they'd rather you shut up and snog them.

BUT IF YOU SNOG MY SISTER I WILL KICK YOUR BLOODY ARSE. Or challenge you to a duel everyday, so you can LOSE, and spend all your free time in DETENTION and thus AWAY FROM MY SISTER

As always, my sister is OFF LIMITS, so you wankers lay the hell off.

Cheers.